Cookies vs. Me

Cookies are my crack.

I admit I get giddy at the thought of a warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie melting its way down my gullet, leaving smudges of evidence all over my face and fingertips. I rejoice before, during, and after my annual Cookie Baking Day every holiday season. After all, the birth of eleven kinds of cookies on one day should be a frickin' national holiday. I don't need it to be, though. It's a holiday in my own mind. It's true I gained 5lbs to commemorate the arrival of glorious butter cookies, chocolate bark, angelettes, nutella-stuffed cookies, and more....but for the first time in a LONG time, Cookie Baking Day did not result in me eating everything in sight with reckless abandon for the next month.

Despite my inclination to celebrate a perfectly moist rainbow cookie or pop a chewy almond ball into my mouth, I have been forging healthier habits. Yay for bits of progress! And yay to my mother for being a fantastic partner in accountability. I really can't take all of the credit.

"When are you weighing in?" she would ask. Eyebrows drawn. Expectant tone deployed.

"Well....I really don't want to. I've been eating the cookies."

"You can't hide. You should just face it. Get it over with."

"I know, but..." Silence. No way out. She's right. Damn it. "You're right, Mom. I'm going tomorrow."

I don't expect to be perfect. I don't expect to never eat a cookie again. Ha!

I do expect to stay focused.

However, I am taking my bit of progress as a sign that I can make changes to my habits. I lost those cookie pounds plus some. :)

It is really empowering when you finally realize that you have the power to reimagine yourself...to boost yourself up...to begin a new chapter.

Time

Don't we, though? We just fill ourselves up with not now, not ready, there's plenty of time, tomorrow, next week, a little later, just a few more minutes, there's time later, i'll get to it, three more seconds, there's no rush, in two minutes, we'll get to it soon, and i have plenty of time for that.

This isn't about items beyond our control.

It's those pristine drops of truth hanging from our denial, drenching our reality with the knee-jerk reaction to postpone.

Delay. Defer.

Is it our blessing to know that, for so many of us, time coils softly around our existence and affords us the luxury of experience? We bathe lackadaisically in our presumption of endless days and hours to get to it, put it off, talk about it later, or avoid it altogether? Is it some mandatory wound--a necessary jab-- for our hubris to take a hit when mortality calls?

Time isn't guaranteed. The last grain swirls down the hourglass, and it's done.

2013 is on the precipice of now. All I can ask for is the privilege of moments with meaning this year.

Fingers intertwined.

Scent of cologne.

Arms encircled.

Moms and dads.

Three lovely sisters' faces.

The smiles of friends.

Snuggles with gus.

Sticking to a plan.

Being kind to yourself. <3

Be empowered by the choice of your surrounding company. What a simple way to make the most of the time that is at present.

Light in the Aftermath

Normalcy is so under appreciated. You seek to be brilliant, to shine, to collect memories, to say I love you, to rise to your alarm clock, zip up your coat, and forget the world for a while in the last chapter of that book. Up and down. Rinse and Repeat. Coffee with a touch of sweetness. Call it a life. It is yours after all.. complete with pillowy, silk socks that remind you to dream. To push your feet into shoes. A warm, welcoming coating wrapped with a cool heat around your soul.

You get in early to finish that extra work, and you stop for gas before you tuck your wheels in for the night. You do what needs to be done, but you have too much fun on Saturday night to escape for an hour or too.

You laugh too hard at something that is only funny to you and him....or you and her. It's the best funny there is.

My thoughts are with everyone that needs their everyday-normal-ordinary moments to return. They'll be back soon. <3

Bits of a Fall Weekend

P, I think it's totally awesome that you love to decorate for any holiday. That pumpkin you found at the fair made out of driftwood is so cute. I know that trio of snowmen ornaments you bought will look amazing on our Christmas tree. What is even cuter is how pumped you get about picking cheesy holiday decor for our house. I love to hear you and E discuss your game plan for lighting this place up for December. I have faith that you guys will create a masterpiece.

K, I'm glad you helped make my shopping trip for work clothes a mild success. It would've been a total failure if you weren't there because I would have given up after the first ten failed attempts at trying on shirts that were abominable. Plus, you always make me laugh when I feel like I am about to punch someone or something.

Autumn, your sunny, chilly air and yellow, red, and oranges are so gorgeous. I'm glad I live in a place where you visit, despite the leaves I'll have to pick up soon. I have a crazy boxer that will enjoy running through them, so I'm choosing to see that chore in a positive light. I love the days where a corduroy jacket and a scarf are enough, and I love pumpkin beer. Well, maybe I really love the cinnamon-sugar coating on the rim.

Happy, Healthier Me

P, I wish I could live in the crook of your neck. It smells great there, and it's super warm and cuddly. I visit there frequently during hugs, so I will be back soon.

Students, It was surprising to see how many of you missed me while I was out sick. You all asked why I was gone, and if I was feeling better. Even a quirky kid said he "kinda missed" me. I laughed when a bold one asked if what I had was contagious and am I still? :}

Nike Cushioned Flip Flops, My eyes roll back into my head a little bit when I slip you on. Comfortable, cloud-like, and calming, you are the holy trinity of sandal wear. You were an outrageous $30 (for flip flops?!?!), but with my 30% coupon, I knew you would be mine. I'm so glad we could come together, and create foot-shoe bliss.

Positivity Experiment

Variables are many, but the goal is as clear as the Peter Pan zipping around the little kid section of my brain.

Think happy thoughts. Each day.

While seeing it all, decide to focus on the good.

I triple-dog-dared myself. It's so on.

P, I love that you love to switch off the GPS to use traditional maps for navigation whenever possible. I think it's the puzzle of figuring out how to get there. ;)

Gus, I know you love me, but your 80 lb cuddles are overwhelming when I'm seated on a single chair. No, you cannot climb up and place your entire body on my lap...but I admit, I like watching you try. You usually give up and satisfy yourself with a half-lap victory.

Christmastime, I know you are two months away, but I love the smell of pine. I am in love with the idea of putting fresh pine wreaths in probably too many places.